Now that I've been home for two weeks I'm finally concluding this blog! Sorry for the delay.
The last week in the Philippines was quite a struggle for me. I felt excited and preoccupied with going home and lost my focus on ministry. I didn't spend adequate time in the Word and I felt it so poignantly when I tried to wrap up the bible studies I had been leading while there. I felt so dry from not connecting with the Lord and I felt like I was trudging through the lessons I had previously taught with passion. I came away feeling like I had let down the Filipinos who were under my care. After reflecting on that last week I have realized two things. If I am ever to persevere in ministry I must constantly seek the Spirit's guidance and empowerment. The minute I stray to relying on my own strength, I will fail. The second truth I learned is how much missionaries and church leaders need our prayers for perseverance sustained by their own vibrant walk with the Lord.
When we finally made it back to the US we arrived at SEND's headquarters in Detroit for a day and a half of debriefing. Although the sessions held from 8-3 each day were meant to be helpful I had a terrible bout of jet lag and felt that most of my focus went in to keeping my eyes open. I wanted to sleep during the day and for the first time in my life I found myself laying awake all night. By the time SEND dropped me at the Detroit airport to fly back to O'Hare where my family would pick me up, I was on the verge of becoming a full-fledged basketcase. When my checked bag was a few pounds overweight, I nearly tried to put my toiletries into my carry-on bag, only to catch myself at the last minute. My flight was delayed for about a half hour and when we finally boarded the plane, we sat on the runway for another two hours waiting for O'Hare to give us clearance. When the pilot finally made the announcement that we would be leaving at 6, I called Mom and couldn't even get out the news without bursting into tears like a two year old who missed her nap. This outburst caught the attention of the stewardess and a dear elderly woman sitting next to me who proceeded to tell me about her world-wide travels the entire rest of the flight. When we finally touched down, I had a terrible pain in my neck from maintaining eye contact with the elderly woman who was chatting with me (or rather to me) but I was overjoyed to almost be home! Our white Plymouth Town and Country minivan was never such a welcomed sight.
Since making it safely back to Roanoke, IL I have been helping Mom decorate the new house, enjoying Ken's company (he drove up a week after I got back), and wrestling through much of what I saw and experienced.
At this point I don't know if the Lord will call us to further missions work, but I do know that I want to be doing whatever He desires. If He calls us to the mission field, we will go. I am convinced that we will find true joy and fulfillment only by obedience to God's leading. He knows better than I do what I need and truly want.
If we remain in the U.S., I fear growing comfortable and complacent as middle class Evangelical Christians. I fear feeling self-sufficient and rendering faith a mere Christian word rather than a stark reality. I'm asking the Lord how to fight this. I think one way is to give beyond the acceptable 10% to the Lord's work and learn to make room for God to show off in His often suprising provision.
I want to thank you all for your prayers and financial support and genuine interest in the Lord's work in Baguio this summer. I feel so privileged to be a part of His work across the world and I pray that my life will more closley reflect His Son's as a result. I asked Ken if He has noticed any change in me since coming back and after thinking for a bit he said with a smile, "I think your faith is stronger."
I praise you Lord for increasing my faith and making me more fit to serve you in the future! May you receive great glory from my life as I live constantly looking foward to your return and great redemption. I praise you for the work you did in the lives of the Filipinos. May you sustain and complete what you have begun. Thank you for making me a part of your plan of redemption. Though I am often faithless, you remain faithful.
May God prove Himself the same in each of your lives.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Friday, July 18, 2008
Winding Down
This past week I experienced my first bout of sickness since arriving here in the Philippines. Thankfully, it was only a virus resulting in a horrendous sore throat, fever, chills, and now congestion and a cough that rivals any lifelong smoker's. Just as I was feeling well enough to get out of bed, the rains resulting from a nearby typhoon began. I have never seen or heard it rain for three nights and days without interruption. With all the rain, we experienced two brownouts for 2-4 hours. On the third day of rain I couldn't stand being cooped up in the house for any longer so I ventured out to the Palengke (yes, the girls brought it to my attention that I was previously misspelling it as Palankay) to buy a few souvenirs. Even with my rain jacket and umbrella, I got so wet that even my underclothes were damp! Needless to say, I don't think the experience contributed to a speedy recovery.
Because of the rain and sickness almost all of my usual activities were cancelled. However, I was able to make it to Crystal Cave Public School on Thursday. This week we further discussed creation and what it means to be made in God's image. I took in a large mirror and explained that an image is a reflection. We were created to reflect God to all of creation. Just as God filled and subdued the earth, Adam and Ever were instructed to do the same. How ironic that the snake - the very creature that they were to subdue - ended up dictating to them what to do! As we read through Gen. 3 together, using the pictures I had drawn the night before, I explained how sin and death entered the world and how we came to have corrupt hearts that do not love God. I closed by calling their attention to Gen. 3:15, "the prolegamena." I had written the verse out on a poster and went through and explained that this verse is perhaps the most important verse in all of Genesis becuase it points the way to Jesus and His future victory over the sin and death that had just entered the world. I explained that becuase He came, all that had gone wrong in Eden has begun to be made right. And all that is wrong in our hearts may be made right as well. At times I felt like perhaps the kids were in over their heads but Pastor Max reassured me that it was apparent that they understood when he reviewed with them in their native dialect afterward. I also collected their observations from the next seven chapters of John. By next week they will have read through the whole book which is exciting to me. I know that the Word of God is living and active and that it accomplishes the purpose for which God sends it. I trust that this will be true in these fifth graders' lives.
Tonight I am hosting a girls' sleepover for all the high school/college age girls who attend CBCF. We're expecting about 10 total so it will be quite a houseful. The girls requested lasagne for dinner so yesterday I walked to the supermarket and came back with four bags of groceries including 4 - 1.5 L bottles of rootbeer and 3 L ice cream for rootbeer floats. Unfortunately, the walk back is straight uphill. Needless to say, I had to stop several times just to catch my breath, and I had to wave off several bewildered taxi drivers who couldn't understand why an Americano would be lugging all those groceries uphill instead of paying for a taxi ride! The probem was that I had no idea how expensive the ingredients for lasagne woudl be here in the Philippines when I agreed to have it for dinner. The cost of the cheese alone was about a fourth of my weekly food allowance for the girls and I! Now I understand why they requested it! Regardless, it will be fun to offer the girls something special tonight.
I also am hoping to have a "girl talk" tonight where we can discuss some of the current issues the girls are facing and may not feel comfortable voicing with older women. I am particularly concerned with their views on dating. It seem almost like a game here. One girl told me that she started dating her boyfriend becuase he had hurt her friend and she wanted to get back at him! Dating two people at the same time without either knowing about the other is also common. Please pray that God will teach them how to approach relationships in a way that honors Him and will help them develop healthy habits that can follow them into marriage.
Part of the problem may be that so few families remain intact here. Both of the girls who are staying with me have parents that have separated and have new "partners." D's dad even has a second family. When I asked her if she struggles with anger toward him she replied matter of factly, "God's forgiven me so I have to forgive him." I was challenged by her answer.
Perhaps part of what contributes to the disintegration of families here is that often one of the spouses goes abroad for years at a time to earn dollars or Euros to send back home for their children's college education (the exchange rate is currently 45 pesos per dollar and nearly 68 pesos per Euro). The girls told me that to even get a janitorial position here, the individual must have a bachelor's degree. The problem is that there are just not enough good jobs to go around and the competition is incredibly steep. It was sobering to realize that most of the college aged individuals in the church have chosen degrees based on what is most marketable rather than what is most desirable for their unique personality and gifting. Because there are many educated Filipinos and not enough jobs to go around, many apply for overseas jobs. It seems that at least 50% of the church families have this kind of arrangement where one of the spouses is working abroad. This puts a whole new spin on long distance relationships and I am witnessing firsthand the strain that kind of distance involves.
I'm coming up on my last week here in Baguio. Please pray that I finish strong. Pray that I might continue to make the good news of salvation clear to the kids at Crystal Cave and that they will respond with God-given and God-sustained faith. Pray that the message I present to the women at Benguet State University on the Canaanite woman of Mathew 15 will challenge them and encourage them to have great faith in God's goodness and concern for their lives. Pray that they will be relentless in their prayers and pursuit of Him. Pray that they, as well as the church members here at CBCF, will persevere in the midst of their trials, because they have many.
Pray that I will not come back the same Audrey. Pray that God will have His way in my life and that I might step back onto U.S. soil with a heart that more closely reflects His Son. Pray that I might learn everyday to walk more by His Spirit and less by my flesh. Pray that God provides direction for Ken and I as we face our last year at Moody. We desire to serve wherever He wants to use us so pray that He will lead us by His Spirit, to do His will.
Because of the rain and sickness almost all of my usual activities were cancelled. However, I was able to make it to Crystal Cave Public School on Thursday. This week we further discussed creation and what it means to be made in God's image. I took in a large mirror and explained that an image is a reflection. We were created to reflect God to all of creation. Just as God filled and subdued the earth, Adam and Ever were instructed to do the same. How ironic that the snake - the very creature that they were to subdue - ended up dictating to them what to do! As we read through Gen. 3 together, using the pictures I had drawn the night before, I explained how sin and death entered the world and how we came to have corrupt hearts that do not love God. I closed by calling their attention to Gen. 3:15, "the prolegamena." I had written the verse out on a poster and went through and explained that this verse is perhaps the most important verse in all of Genesis becuase it points the way to Jesus and His future victory over the sin and death that had just entered the world. I explained that becuase He came, all that had gone wrong in Eden has begun to be made right. And all that is wrong in our hearts may be made right as well. At times I felt like perhaps the kids were in over their heads but Pastor Max reassured me that it was apparent that they understood when he reviewed with them in their native dialect afterward. I also collected their observations from the next seven chapters of John. By next week they will have read through the whole book which is exciting to me. I know that the Word of God is living and active and that it accomplishes the purpose for which God sends it. I trust that this will be true in these fifth graders' lives.
Tonight I am hosting a girls' sleepover for all the high school/college age girls who attend CBCF. We're expecting about 10 total so it will be quite a houseful. The girls requested lasagne for dinner so yesterday I walked to the supermarket and came back with four bags of groceries including 4 - 1.5 L bottles of rootbeer and 3 L ice cream for rootbeer floats. Unfortunately, the walk back is straight uphill. Needless to say, I had to stop several times just to catch my breath, and I had to wave off several bewildered taxi drivers who couldn't understand why an Americano would be lugging all those groceries uphill instead of paying for a taxi ride! The probem was that I had no idea how expensive the ingredients for lasagne woudl be here in the Philippines when I agreed to have it for dinner. The cost of the cheese alone was about a fourth of my weekly food allowance for the girls and I! Now I understand why they requested it! Regardless, it will be fun to offer the girls something special tonight.
I also am hoping to have a "girl talk" tonight where we can discuss some of the current issues the girls are facing and may not feel comfortable voicing with older women. I am particularly concerned with their views on dating. It seem almost like a game here. One girl told me that she started dating her boyfriend becuase he had hurt her friend and she wanted to get back at him! Dating two people at the same time without either knowing about the other is also common. Please pray that God will teach them how to approach relationships in a way that honors Him and will help them develop healthy habits that can follow them into marriage.
Part of the problem may be that so few families remain intact here. Both of the girls who are staying with me have parents that have separated and have new "partners." D's dad even has a second family. When I asked her if she struggles with anger toward him she replied matter of factly, "God's forgiven me so I have to forgive him." I was challenged by her answer.
Perhaps part of what contributes to the disintegration of families here is that often one of the spouses goes abroad for years at a time to earn dollars or Euros to send back home for their children's college education (the exchange rate is currently 45 pesos per dollar and nearly 68 pesos per Euro). The girls told me that to even get a janitorial position here, the individual must have a bachelor's degree. The problem is that there are just not enough good jobs to go around and the competition is incredibly steep. It was sobering to realize that most of the college aged individuals in the church have chosen degrees based on what is most marketable rather than what is most desirable for their unique personality and gifting. Because there are many educated Filipinos and not enough jobs to go around, many apply for overseas jobs. It seems that at least 50% of the church families have this kind of arrangement where one of the spouses is working abroad. This puts a whole new spin on long distance relationships and I am witnessing firsthand the strain that kind of distance involves.
I'm coming up on my last week here in Baguio. Please pray that I finish strong. Pray that I might continue to make the good news of salvation clear to the kids at Crystal Cave and that they will respond with God-given and God-sustained faith. Pray that the message I present to the women at Benguet State University on the Canaanite woman of Mathew 15 will challenge them and encourage them to have great faith in God's goodness and concern for their lives. Pray that they will be relentless in their prayers and pursuit of Him. Pray that they, as well as the church members here at CBCF, will persevere in the midst of their trials, because they have many.
Pray that I will not come back the same Audrey. Pray that God will have His way in my life and that I might step back onto U.S. soil with a heart that more closely reflects His Son. Pray that I might learn everyday to walk more by His Spirit and less by my flesh. Pray that God provides direction for Ken and I as we face our last year at Moody. We desire to serve wherever He wants to use us so pray that He will lead us by His Spirit, to do His will.
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Half Way Through
First, of all, I wanted to thank all of you who have commented on my blog. It's so encouraging to realize that people are reading and praying and spurring me on. I wish I had the time to personally respond to each comment but as it is, I'm having trouble finding enough time at a computer to simply add a new post. Please don't let this discourage you from commenting!
I have officially passed the half-way mark of my time here. It feels like I've just only begun to adjust and now they are already talking about our despidida (going away party)! This week I tried out a few Tagolog (Ta.ga.log) phrases while in public and it was rather fun. The girls who stay with me have been patiently teaching me a few words/phrases here and there. Perhaps the funnest part of speaking Tagolog is they way it brings a shy smile and a suprised twinkle into the eyes of the Filipinos when they hear it coming from an Americano.
This week we returned to the fifth grade class at Crystal Cave Public School. This time I explained that if the kids have genuinely committed their lives to Christ, He has given them a new heart with the capability of loving Him. However, it is difficult to love God when you don't know him. I illustrated this by asking the class artist to come up to the board and instructing him to draw my favorite animal. He stuck his little tongue out and with meticulous motions scratched out with a meager piece of chalk a rather realistic drawing of a tropical bird. Haha. The kids were a bit suprised to hear that I actually have a great phobia of birds! I explained that it was difficult for the boy to obey my command because he did not know me, and he for sure didn't know my favorite animal.
The second illustration involved a rather cherished letter I received from Ken. I took it in and let one of the girls in the front row read Ken's name out loud. I explained that he is my fiance back in the States and that he had sent me the letter. I asked them how they think that I got to know him. Eventually we decided that I got to know him through spending time with him, talking, and doing things together. I explained that the same is true of God.
But how do we spend time with God. Can we invite him to visit the classroom. Can we ask him to give a presentation about Himself? Can we sit down over some ulam and rice and ask Him about Himself? No. I asked them what would be the best way for them to get to know Koby Bryant better. Because he's not here in the Philippines, the best way for them to get to know him better would be to check out a book about him from the library and read it (I only realized later that they don't have access to a library and were a bit confused about what I meant!). The same is true of God. We have His autobiography, the Bible. It's how God talks to us. And we can talk back to God through prayer. I ended the lesson by giving them an assignment. I showed them where the book of John is in the Bible and told them that I would like them to read one chapter a day and write out on a piece of paper what they learned about God. I also told them after writing, I wanted them to talk to God and tell Him if they had a bad day, if they have trouble at home, if something exciting happens in their life. I explained that He cares and wants to hear from them.
I hope that some of them went ahead and did the assignment. I know not all of the had Bibles and we will be bringing some with us this week.
Last week I also had the opportunity of leading the Bible study held at Benguet State University among some women who work in the administrative department. I felt convicted by the Lord to speak on godly confrontation.
Confrontation is often greatly feared here in the Philippines. No one wants to "rock the boat." As a result, I am running into quite a bit of gossip behind others' backs and hidden resentment. I have had the opportunity to talk two women in particular about the need for honesty regarding past hurts inflicted by a church member here. I sense that their continued silence has not only caused their hearts to grow bitter but has also withheld much-needed accountability for the church member. I believe his ministry is being damaged because of it. Please pray that God will really work to bring about loving and respectful honesty among the Filipinos at Cordillera Bible Christian Fellowship. I am especially concerned because the team leaders Mike and Carolyn Ballast who are highly respected and have set an impeccable example in this regard will be retiring in a few years and it is most likely that a Filipino will step in to replace them. I know that God can redeem this aspect of Filipino culture as He is working to redeem much of American culture in my own life. Please pray that He does so.
The women seemed to be challenged by the lesson I prepared on confrontation, and during prayer time, several raised some situations that they were sensing they needed to be honest in. I was so encouraged by their vulnerability and tender consciences. What a privilege to be a part of the Holy Spirit's work in their lives.
I also was invited to speak at the youth group meeting this past Friday. I spoke again on confrontation but focused more the on the difference between judgment and godly accountability. I used Gal. 5:1-5 as the text and explained that judgment alienates the sinner while accountability takes the hand of the sinner and "bears his or her sin burden." I have seen this take place at Moody several times, specifically in regards to Ken's floor and the accountability group that meets for two hours on Sunday nights. I have been so blessed by the way godly men on Dryer 2 have come alongside each other and have sacrificed through fasting and long hours in prayer in order to help each other live righteous lives. I have also seen this in one of my previous roommates as she would often spend hours in the middle of the night on the phone in prayer with a friend back home who had recently been saved and was struggling immensely with ghosts from her past. How the church would be different if when we saw another in sin we came alongside of him/her and were willing to sacrifice our food, sleep, time, or convenience in order to see that brother or sister be restored! Perhaps then the world would not see Christians as primarily judgmental. As I shared these examples with the youth I was so struck with personal conviction and just the realization of how greatly such sacrifice among members of Christ's body honors Him that I cried! Although I felt a bit embarrassed, I think the Lord used the message to penetrate some of the youths' hearts. A few came up to me afterward and thanked me for the message. Please pray that the Lord would convict them so that not only their emotions are moved but their lives as well.
Finally, this past week I led the high school/college age girls' bible study for the second time. I really struggle with the message preparation. We were studying Luke 4: Jesus's temptation by Satan. I was having a hard time knowing how to interpret some of the verses and I struggle with not having access to commentaries etc. I also was struggling with a fresh take on the passage.
During Sunday morning, Dan Ballast gave a message that was just saturated by his own conviction and passion. He raised the question why we are still so spiritually thirsty when Christ says that if we drink His living water, we will never thirst again. He explained that it is because we are not living by the Spirit. CBCF uses Evangelism Explosion to train new believers on how to share their faith. This curriculum is fitting for this culture in that it is a concise way to train new believers who may not even understand the gospel all that well themselves, to share it with others. It uses some very powerful illustrations that seem to help the gospel make sense to Filipinos when even the most well-reasoned explanations fall short. However, the church leadership here admits that it has its faults. One of those is that it focuses so much on eternal life after we die in Heaven and fails to explain that eternal life begins at salvation. Eternal life is knowing God (John 17) and living life by His Spirit. Dan challenged the congregation to not be so focused on Heaven that they fail to see God's desire for them to experience His spiritual life here on earth. He exhorted us to be making time to sit in silence before the Lord and give Him opportunity to speak to us through His Word. He also challenged us to practice spiritual disciplines such as fasting.
I was personally cut to the heart because I am realizing so poignantly that the degree to which God uses my teaching in others' lives directly correlates to the degree to which He uses it in my own. If my lessons pour from my own time with the Lord and the conviction that comes by His Spirit, they will carry a power that even the most eloquent preachers and teachers do not know. If I long to see God work in His people I must first and foremost long to see God work in my life. It's ironic how tend to get so caught up in ministry that we forget just how badly we ourselves need to be ministered to.
Please pray that I would learn to walk by the Spirit. Please pray that this trip would be a spring board of God developing a spirit-led life in me. I long for my prayers to be Spirit-directed and for my heart to be Spirit-convicted, for the Word to be living and active in my life, and for my teaching to overflow from this activity. I know that if God does this in my life it may mean sacrificing sleep or food or life as I know it now to do as His Spirit directs. That can be scary at first but I know that I look at it now through the lens of my own strength. If the Holy Spirit is directing me, He will also supply the strength.
Dan's message about living by the Spirit seemed to offer the missing puzzle piece to my lesson on Luke 4:1-13. Looking back on the text I realized that Jesus was so triumphant because He was "full of the Spirit" and "led by the Spirit." I challenged the girls to fast with me for a day this week and set apart extended time with the Lord. Yesterday I went ahead a did so (though it was such a struggle for me!). I was so encouraged today when I woke up and one of the girls who is staying with me who also attends the Bible study told me that she was fasting today. I had prayed that the girls would be personally convicted and would take the initiative to cultivate the Spirit's work in their lives. What a blessing to see D. doing so! Pray that she would be blessed through her time with the Lord and that the other girls would choose to seek God's presence on an ongoing basis as well.
Thanks so much for your prayers. I am moved when I realize that much of what God is doing here is a direct result of His Saints and their intercession.
I have officially passed the half-way mark of my time here. It feels like I've just only begun to adjust and now they are already talking about our despidida (going away party)! This week I tried out a few Tagolog (Ta.ga.log) phrases while in public and it was rather fun. The girls who stay with me have been patiently teaching me a few words/phrases here and there. Perhaps the funnest part of speaking Tagolog is they way it brings a shy smile and a suprised twinkle into the eyes of the Filipinos when they hear it coming from an Americano.
This week we returned to the fifth grade class at Crystal Cave Public School. This time I explained that if the kids have genuinely committed their lives to Christ, He has given them a new heart with the capability of loving Him. However, it is difficult to love God when you don't know him. I illustrated this by asking the class artist to come up to the board and instructing him to draw my favorite animal. He stuck his little tongue out and with meticulous motions scratched out with a meager piece of chalk a rather realistic drawing of a tropical bird. Haha. The kids were a bit suprised to hear that I actually have a great phobia of birds! I explained that it was difficult for the boy to obey my command because he did not know me, and he for sure didn't know my favorite animal.
The second illustration involved a rather cherished letter I received from Ken. I took it in and let one of the girls in the front row read Ken's name out loud. I explained that he is my fiance back in the States and that he had sent me the letter. I asked them how they think that I got to know him. Eventually we decided that I got to know him through spending time with him, talking, and doing things together. I explained that the same is true of God.
But how do we spend time with God. Can we invite him to visit the classroom. Can we ask him to give a presentation about Himself? Can we sit down over some ulam and rice and ask Him about Himself? No. I asked them what would be the best way for them to get to know Koby Bryant better. Because he's not here in the Philippines, the best way for them to get to know him better would be to check out a book about him from the library and read it (I only realized later that they don't have access to a library and were a bit confused about what I meant!). The same is true of God. We have His autobiography, the Bible. It's how God talks to us. And we can talk back to God through prayer. I ended the lesson by giving them an assignment. I showed them where the book of John is in the Bible and told them that I would like them to read one chapter a day and write out on a piece of paper what they learned about God. I also told them after writing, I wanted them to talk to God and tell Him if they had a bad day, if they have trouble at home, if something exciting happens in their life. I explained that He cares and wants to hear from them.
I hope that some of them went ahead and did the assignment. I know not all of the had Bibles and we will be bringing some with us this week.
Last week I also had the opportunity of leading the Bible study held at Benguet State University among some women who work in the administrative department. I felt convicted by the Lord to speak on godly confrontation.
Confrontation is often greatly feared here in the Philippines. No one wants to "rock the boat." As a result, I am running into quite a bit of gossip behind others' backs and hidden resentment. I have had the opportunity to talk two women in particular about the need for honesty regarding past hurts inflicted by a church member here. I sense that their continued silence has not only caused their hearts to grow bitter but has also withheld much-needed accountability for the church member. I believe his ministry is being damaged because of it. Please pray that God will really work to bring about loving and respectful honesty among the Filipinos at Cordillera Bible Christian Fellowship. I am especially concerned because the team leaders Mike and Carolyn Ballast who are highly respected and have set an impeccable example in this regard will be retiring in a few years and it is most likely that a Filipino will step in to replace them. I know that God can redeem this aspect of Filipino culture as He is working to redeem much of American culture in my own life. Please pray that He does so.
The women seemed to be challenged by the lesson I prepared on confrontation, and during prayer time, several raised some situations that they were sensing they needed to be honest in. I was so encouraged by their vulnerability and tender consciences. What a privilege to be a part of the Holy Spirit's work in their lives.
I also was invited to speak at the youth group meeting this past Friday. I spoke again on confrontation but focused more the on the difference between judgment and godly accountability. I used Gal. 5:1-5 as the text and explained that judgment alienates the sinner while accountability takes the hand of the sinner and "bears his or her sin burden." I have seen this take place at Moody several times, specifically in regards to Ken's floor and the accountability group that meets for two hours on Sunday nights. I have been so blessed by the way godly men on Dryer 2 have come alongside each other and have sacrificed through fasting and long hours in prayer in order to help each other live righteous lives. I have also seen this in one of my previous roommates as she would often spend hours in the middle of the night on the phone in prayer with a friend back home who had recently been saved and was struggling immensely with ghosts from her past. How the church would be different if when we saw another in sin we came alongside of him/her and were willing to sacrifice our food, sleep, time, or convenience in order to see that brother or sister be restored! Perhaps then the world would not see Christians as primarily judgmental. As I shared these examples with the youth I was so struck with personal conviction and just the realization of how greatly such sacrifice among members of Christ's body honors Him that I cried! Although I felt a bit embarrassed, I think the Lord used the message to penetrate some of the youths' hearts. A few came up to me afterward and thanked me for the message. Please pray that the Lord would convict them so that not only their emotions are moved but their lives as well.
Finally, this past week I led the high school/college age girls' bible study for the second time. I really struggle with the message preparation. We were studying Luke 4: Jesus's temptation by Satan. I was having a hard time knowing how to interpret some of the verses and I struggle with not having access to commentaries etc. I also was struggling with a fresh take on the passage.
During Sunday morning, Dan Ballast gave a message that was just saturated by his own conviction and passion. He raised the question why we are still so spiritually thirsty when Christ says that if we drink His living water, we will never thirst again. He explained that it is because we are not living by the Spirit. CBCF uses Evangelism Explosion to train new believers on how to share their faith. This curriculum is fitting for this culture in that it is a concise way to train new believers who may not even understand the gospel all that well themselves, to share it with others. It uses some very powerful illustrations that seem to help the gospel make sense to Filipinos when even the most well-reasoned explanations fall short. However, the church leadership here admits that it has its faults. One of those is that it focuses so much on eternal life after we die in Heaven and fails to explain that eternal life begins at salvation. Eternal life is knowing God (John 17) and living life by His Spirit. Dan challenged the congregation to not be so focused on Heaven that they fail to see God's desire for them to experience His spiritual life here on earth. He exhorted us to be making time to sit in silence before the Lord and give Him opportunity to speak to us through His Word. He also challenged us to practice spiritual disciplines such as fasting.
I was personally cut to the heart because I am realizing so poignantly that the degree to which God uses my teaching in others' lives directly correlates to the degree to which He uses it in my own. If my lessons pour from my own time with the Lord and the conviction that comes by His Spirit, they will carry a power that even the most eloquent preachers and teachers do not know. If I long to see God work in His people I must first and foremost long to see God work in my life. It's ironic how tend to get so caught up in ministry that we forget just how badly we ourselves need to be ministered to.
Please pray that I would learn to walk by the Spirit. Please pray that this trip would be a spring board of God developing a spirit-led life in me. I long for my prayers to be Spirit-directed and for my heart to be Spirit-convicted, for the Word to be living and active in my life, and for my teaching to overflow from this activity. I know that if God does this in my life it may mean sacrificing sleep or food or life as I know it now to do as His Spirit directs. That can be scary at first but I know that I look at it now through the lens of my own strength. If the Holy Spirit is directing me, He will also supply the strength.
Dan's message about living by the Spirit seemed to offer the missing puzzle piece to my lesson on Luke 4:1-13. Looking back on the text I realized that Jesus was so triumphant because He was "full of the Spirit" and "led by the Spirit." I challenged the girls to fast with me for a day this week and set apart extended time with the Lord. Yesterday I went ahead a did so (though it was such a struggle for me!). I was so encouraged today when I woke up and one of the girls who is staying with me who also attends the Bible study told me that she was fasting today. I had prayed that the girls would be personally convicted and would take the initiative to cultivate the Spirit's work in their lives. What a blessing to see D. doing so! Pray that she would be blessed through her time with the Lord and that the other girls would choose to seek God's presence on an ongoing basis as well.
Thanks so much for your prayers. I am moved when I realize that much of what God is doing here is a direct result of His Saints and their intercession.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Life Here.
Since moving to my permanent housing I have experienced several monumental "firsts."
Last weekend I experienced my first typhoon. It didn't turn out as exciting as I imagined; we simply were stuck inside for the latter half of Sunday and most of Mondaywhile it rained incessantly. The first night we experienced a brown-out for four hours which afforded us the opportunity of making and eating tuna macaroni and cheese by candlelight (Yes I could almost imagine myself in a five-star restuarant).
On Tuesday I was able to visit a biblestudy held by one of the church members at Benguet State University for her fellow administrative office workers. I was invited to teach the Biblestudy throughout my stay here and I gladly accepted. Most of the women who attend are young moms who have only recently committed their lives to Christ. They were so kind and excited to have me teach their group.
When I think about having the freedom to develop lessons for these women I feel several different emotions. First of all, I feel so energized. I'm excited about sharing all the things that God has taught me and continues to teach me from His Word. What a privilege to be able to pass on the wisdom that has been handed down to me! I also feel very responsible. I want to remain true to the Word and sometimes I really debate over what Biblical writer was trying to convey. I also know I must first put in to practice what I tell these women. Finally I feel challenged. There is something within me that so passionately wants to offer these women something true, something deep, something that they have never considered or understood before, something lifechanging, something that will make them turn around and exclaim, "What an amazing God we serve!" God is so great and all too often we fail to convey that in our teaching. I know it must first stem from a personal conviction and understanding of His greatness, so I pray that I might grow in my worship and wonder of God and somehow I pray that it would overflow into the lives of these women.
Yesterday, I experienced my first time of being invited into a public school to proclaim the gospel to the students! The Filipino pastor here made connections with a local public school and we were allowed to present the gospel in the fifth grade class as part of their "character" development classes. The school informed Pastor M. that we could not teach "religion" but here it seems that "religion" means promoting a certain church group rather than presenting truth from the Bible. Pastor M. asked me to develop and perform the presentations.
I stayed up late Tuesday night putting the finishing touches on the visual aids and the content of the message. One of Filipino girls staying with me taught me how to fold a piece of paper into a heart, so I began each presentation by a paper-folding demonstration. The kids were excited when they were able to recognize what I was making. I explained to them that just as I had created a paper heart, God has created each one of us and placed a "heart" within us. I had made two large red hearts and had written on them "Love God" and "Love Ourselves." I asked the other short-termer to be part of my illustration and we taped the "Love Ourselves" heart on his chest. I exlained that the purpose of our hearts is to love God, but instead, we are all born with hearts that love ourselves. Becuase our hearts love the wrong thing, everything that flows out of our hearts is sinful. I then taped up small black splotches onto the "Love Ourselves" heart taped on B's chest. As I did so I named off several sins that the kids would have been familiar with. At the end, the "Love Ourselves" heart was covered with black splotches. I then explained that we have a problem becuase our hearts love the wrong thing and are filled with sin. God is just and must punish our sin. He does that both in our lives - by causing us to feel empty inside or foiling our plans - and after our lives - by sending us to an eternity in Hell.
I then asked the kids if they knew of a solution to this problem. A few brave but shy kids raised their hands and explained that we could promise to do good things. I then explained that although that is a good idea, we are incapable of producing good works from a bad heart. I explained that in America we like to eat apple pie. If I had a wormy apple and decided to cut it up and use it to make a pie, would they want to eat it? They all wrinkled up their noses and shouted, "No!" "Why not?" I asked. They replied, "Becuase it came from a wormy, yucky apple!" I explained that the same is true about the "good works" our bad hearts produce. They seemed to finally begin to understand. "The problem is that we need a new heart," I explained. I then proceded to tell them that God's solution to our problem was to send His Son Jesus to this earth. Jesus is both fully God and fully man and He is the only one who has ever had a heart that completely and only loved God. As a result, all that he did was good. In fact, he was entirely sinless. Becuase of this He was able to die and take on our sin, bearing God's punishment in place of us. After three days, Jesus rose again to prove His victory over the power of sin and death. He has the power to give us new hearts, ones that really do love God. As a result, we can live lives that are pleasing to God and when we die, we can experience eternal life in Heaven with God.
After explaining all this to the kids, I offered to pray a prayer of salvation and invited them to join along if they desired to have new hearts. I expected them to pray silently, but to my astonishment, they all prayed aloud after me in unison! I was amazed and a bit flustered. I don't know if their eager acceptance of Christ was the result of an Americano telling them that it was a good thing to do, or if the Holy Spirit was working in their lives. As I sat down and looked around the room as Max reiterated what I had said in the kids' native dialect, Ilocano, I experienced a great peace knowing that the Lord had some of His own elect in that room and I trust that He had used what was said to draw them to Himself and that He would preserve their fragile faith.
After the fifth grade presentation we had a "merianda" of coffee and muffins. Pastor M. then informed me that the sixth grade teacher had heard that we had presented in the fifth grade class and wandered if we could come and do a presentation in his class? What a blessing. So we went ahead and presented again to the sixth graders! The teacher listened from the back of the room as well. It sounds like the teachers of the lower grades also got wind of our presentations and would like us to come back in the following weeks to present to the younger kids as well. What an amazing work of the Lord!
My final "first" of this week was the opportunity of witnessing the birth of nine puppies! The dog of the missionaries whose house I'm staying at was pregnant and when I walked outside yesterday and she wasn't there to greet me, I wondered if she was giving birth. I found her in her dog house and she had already had one puppy. It was about 5:00 pm. I called to the lady who watches over the grounds and she and her husband came and helped pry the roof off the dog house so we could see what was happening and help out if necessary. The dog, a black lab, did very well and around 8:00 pm gave birth to her ninth puppy! Needless to say, we had a rather un-restful night as the house girls and I monitored the puppies, making sure all of them got a chance to eat. However, the opportunity to hold one of these precious newborn pups is worth the lack of sleep in my estimation! I couldn't help but marvel as I watched how God made dogs to give birth without any lamaze classes or prior training! And people say we evolved!
Thanks so much for your prayers. I feel so privileged to be here and have so many opportunities minister!
Please pray that we will be able to return and continue our gospel presentations and further Biblical training in this public school. Pray that the kids will truly understand and that God's Word would take root deep in their soul.
Also pray for the high school/college-aged girls biblestudy I will be leading on Sunday night. This week will be my first time giving the lesson and I will be speaking on Luke 3. Please pray that God will open my eyes to see the truth of His Word that He wants presented to these girls. Also, pray that I might be wise in developing practical illustrations and specific applications that speak to these girls' lives. I desire so badly that they might truly gain a deeper understanding of their Maker and that their lives might boldly reflect His presence.
Also, pray that they might feel safe to be honest regarding the struggles in their lives. I know that one of them has an alcoholic father and a mother who is pregnant with her fifth child. Her and her family live in a squatter house with no electricity. They will most likely be kicked off the property within the year and they do not know where they will go. I know that many of them have very real fear and pain that they are struggling with and I hope that they can find support in our little group.
Last weekend I experienced my first typhoon. It didn't turn out as exciting as I imagined; we simply were stuck inside for the latter half of Sunday and most of Mondaywhile it rained incessantly. The first night we experienced a brown-out for four hours which afforded us the opportunity of making and eating tuna macaroni and cheese by candlelight (Yes I could almost imagine myself in a five-star restuarant).
On Tuesday I was able to visit a biblestudy held by one of the church members at Benguet State University for her fellow administrative office workers. I was invited to teach the Biblestudy throughout my stay here and I gladly accepted. Most of the women who attend are young moms who have only recently committed their lives to Christ. They were so kind and excited to have me teach their group.
When I think about having the freedom to develop lessons for these women I feel several different emotions. First of all, I feel so energized. I'm excited about sharing all the things that God has taught me and continues to teach me from His Word. What a privilege to be able to pass on the wisdom that has been handed down to me! I also feel very responsible. I want to remain true to the Word and sometimes I really debate over what Biblical writer was trying to convey. I also know I must first put in to practice what I tell these women. Finally I feel challenged. There is something within me that so passionately wants to offer these women something true, something deep, something that they have never considered or understood before, something lifechanging, something that will make them turn around and exclaim, "What an amazing God we serve!" God is so great and all too often we fail to convey that in our teaching. I know it must first stem from a personal conviction and understanding of His greatness, so I pray that I might grow in my worship and wonder of God and somehow I pray that it would overflow into the lives of these women.
Yesterday, I experienced my first time of being invited into a public school to proclaim the gospel to the students! The Filipino pastor here made connections with a local public school and we were allowed to present the gospel in the fifth grade class as part of their "character" development classes. The school informed Pastor M. that we could not teach "religion" but here it seems that "religion" means promoting a certain church group rather than presenting truth from the Bible. Pastor M. asked me to develop and perform the presentations.
I stayed up late Tuesday night putting the finishing touches on the visual aids and the content of the message. One of Filipino girls staying with me taught me how to fold a piece of paper into a heart, so I began each presentation by a paper-folding demonstration. The kids were excited when they were able to recognize what I was making. I explained to them that just as I had created a paper heart, God has created each one of us and placed a "heart" within us. I had made two large red hearts and had written on them "Love God" and "Love Ourselves." I asked the other short-termer to be part of my illustration and we taped the "Love Ourselves" heart on his chest. I exlained that the purpose of our hearts is to love God, but instead, we are all born with hearts that love ourselves. Becuase our hearts love the wrong thing, everything that flows out of our hearts is sinful. I then taped up small black splotches onto the "Love Ourselves" heart taped on B's chest. As I did so I named off several sins that the kids would have been familiar with. At the end, the "Love Ourselves" heart was covered with black splotches. I then explained that we have a problem becuase our hearts love the wrong thing and are filled with sin. God is just and must punish our sin. He does that both in our lives - by causing us to feel empty inside or foiling our plans - and after our lives - by sending us to an eternity in Hell.
I then asked the kids if they knew of a solution to this problem. A few brave but shy kids raised their hands and explained that we could promise to do good things. I then explained that although that is a good idea, we are incapable of producing good works from a bad heart. I explained that in America we like to eat apple pie. If I had a wormy apple and decided to cut it up and use it to make a pie, would they want to eat it? They all wrinkled up their noses and shouted, "No!" "Why not?" I asked. They replied, "Becuase it came from a wormy, yucky apple!" I explained that the same is true about the "good works" our bad hearts produce. They seemed to finally begin to understand. "The problem is that we need a new heart," I explained. I then proceded to tell them that God's solution to our problem was to send His Son Jesus to this earth. Jesus is both fully God and fully man and He is the only one who has ever had a heart that completely and only loved God. As a result, all that he did was good. In fact, he was entirely sinless. Becuase of this He was able to die and take on our sin, bearing God's punishment in place of us. After three days, Jesus rose again to prove His victory over the power of sin and death. He has the power to give us new hearts, ones that really do love God. As a result, we can live lives that are pleasing to God and when we die, we can experience eternal life in Heaven with God.
After explaining all this to the kids, I offered to pray a prayer of salvation and invited them to join along if they desired to have new hearts. I expected them to pray silently, but to my astonishment, they all prayed aloud after me in unison! I was amazed and a bit flustered. I don't know if their eager acceptance of Christ was the result of an Americano telling them that it was a good thing to do, or if the Holy Spirit was working in their lives. As I sat down and looked around the room as Max reiterated what I had said in the kids' native dialect, Ilocano, I experienced a great peace knowing that the Lord had some of His own elect in that room and I trust that He had used what was said to draw them to Himself and that He would preserve their fragile faith.
After the fifth grade presentation we had a "merianda" of coffee and muffins. Pastor M. then informed me that the sixth grade teacher had heard that we had presented in the fifth grade class and wandered if we could come and do a presentation in his class? What a blessing. So we went ahead and presented again to the sixth graders! The teacher listened from the back of the room as well. It sounds like the teachers of the lower grades also got wind of our presentations and would like us to come back in the following weeks to present to the younger kids as well. What an amazing work of the Lord!
My final "first" of this week was the opportunity of witnessing the birth of nine puppies! The dog of the missionaries whose house I'm staying at was pregnant and when I walked outside yesterday and she wasn't there to greet me, I wondered if she was giving birth. I found her in her dog house and she had already had one puppy. It was about 5:00 pm. I called to the lady who watches over the grounds and she and her husband came and helped pry the roof off the dog house so we could see what was happening and help out if necessary. The dog, a black lab, did very well and around 8:00 pm gave birth to her ninth puppy! Needless to say, we had a rather un-restful night as the house girls and I monitored the puppies, making sure all of them got a chance to eat. However, the opportunity to hold one of these precious newborn pups is worth the lack of sleep in my estimation! I couldn't help but marvel as I watched how God made dogs to give birth without any lamaze classes or prior training! And people say we evolved!
Thanks so much for your prayers. I feel so privileged to be here and have so many opportunities minister!
Please pray that we will be able to return and continue our gospel presentations and further Biblical training in this public school. Pray that the kids will truly understand and that God's Word would take root deep in their soul.
Also pray for the high school/college-aged girls biblestudy I will be leading on Sunday night. This week will be my first time giving the lesson and I will be speaking on Luke 3. Please pray that God will open my eyes to see the truth of His Word that He wants presented to these girls. Also, pray that I might be wise in developing practical illustrations and specific applications that speak to these girls' lives. I desire so badly that they might truly gain a deeper understanding of their Maker and that their lives might boldly reflect His presence.
Also, pray that they might feel safe to be honest regarding the struggles in their lives. I know that one of them has an alcoholic father and a mother who is pregnant with her fifth child. Her and her family live in a squatter house with no electricity. They will most likely be kicked off the property within the year and they do not know where they will go. I know that many of them have very real fear and pain that they are struggling with and I hope that they can find support in our little group.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Photos!
Here is the link to view some of my photos that I have taken so far:
http://picasaweb.google.com/alethea516/TwoMonthsInThePhilippines?authkey=6WKTN_nqJXs
and
http://picasaweb.google.com/alethea516/Baguio?authkey=3St36DRyGXs
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Moving
Last Friday night I moved to my permanent housing, which is the residence of one of the SEND Missionary families. They left for furlough on Monday and have graciously offered their home to me while I am here. Two teenage Filipino girls, N. and D. are staying with me at the house. These two work as the house helpers when the missionaries are home, and they are taking care of the upkeep and acting as companions to me while they are away. I am so grateful for their company and help. I've always considered myself good with directions but I have been completely humbled here. I can't distinguish one twisting, single-lane road from another. All the houses look like the same tin-roof/cement shack, and none of the jeepney routes are clearly marked. Even the destinations written on the outside of the jeepneys are often incorrect. Without D. to take me everywhere I'd spend most of my time here just trying to figure out where I'm at and how to get to my next assigned location. The girls have also given me a much greater glimpse into the culture which surrounds me, for which I am grateful, though it has not been without difficulties.
For example, yesterday, I got up at 6 AM and hopped in a taxi to go along with N. to her 8:00 AM college computer class. Becuase Filipinos are just now starting another school year, the teacher showed up, went over the rules, and then dismissed the class early. N. commented that her teacher seemed nervous over having an Americano in the classroom. I felt a bit out of place, but as usual, the Filipino students were friendly.
After class, D. and I left to go to the Palankay, or the out door market. This is where most of the Filipinos buy their food. It is much cheaper than the supermaket at the mall and has fresh produce from the mountain villages. It's quite the experience as the place is huge, incredibly crowded, and smells less-than-delicious. Two things make the Palankay rather trying for me: the stress of trying to make sure no one pick-pockets me and the pestering I receive from beggars and sellers alike, thinking that I have lots of money to dispense with because I am obviously an Americano. Regardless, I still appreciate the experience and enjoy the challenge of trying to find the food that I and the girls will need for the week. So far I have particularly enjoyed fresh coconut, mangoes, and pineapple, all of which are much tastier than what's available in the U.S.
After we were finished at the Palankay, we took a taxi to pick N. up on her lunch break so the girls could buy some shampoo, soap, "Colgate" etc. We barely got N. back in time for her 12:30 class, the traffic once again being the culprit.
After we dropped N. we went back to the house. After we got back from the market, I decided to be ambitious and try my had at making Adobo, a common dish in the Philippines. I'm realizing that a main ingredient in all Filipino dishes seems to be fat. I had cut up the beef that I had found in the freezer, being careful to trim off the fat and tendons, etc. When N. and D. walked in they kindly stepped in and corrected all the mistakes I was making. They were appalled when I commented that I was going to feed the fat and tendon pieces to the dog. "Oh Po, that's good. We'll use it." So they chopped it up into tiny pieces and fried some rice with it. I opted for the plain rice. I'm coming to understand that in a culture where most people are too poor to buy much meat, fat is the next best thing.
It's been interesting trying to cook in a completely different culture where most ingredients that are familiar to you are not available or are extremely expensive. One of the most obvious foods that is missing is milk. Most Filipinos have grown up on powdered milk. Only in the past few years has liquid milk become available. It is imported from New Zealand and is heat-treated so that it does not require refridgeration until after its opened. You can imagine that it tastes like it too! Along with the absence of milk is most other dairy products that we take for granted in the U.S.
Also, yesterday the water bill for the house was due. Here in the Philippines you cannot simply write out a check and drop it in the mail. No, you have to go in person to the Water District headquarters and stand in line until they personally receive your cash. Before they left, the missionaries had asked the girls if they knew where to take the bill and if they would mind taking care of it while they were gone. The girls kindly agreed, saying that it would be no problem.
So yesterday morning when I reminded D. to pay the bill I find out that she does not know how to get to the Water District and that she will not go without N.. But N. has class from 8-5. D. and N. agree to take it after N. is finished with class. I thought this seemed like a plausible solution until I realized at 4:00 PM that the Water District closes at 5.
Fast-forward to 4:30. D. and I are sitting in a taxi, stuck in traffic. I'm trying to get to Benguet State University in La Trinidad to meet a woman who leads a Bible Study on Tuesday nights. I have no idea where I'm going or if I'll be able to find her when I arrive (she wasn't responding to my texts). I can't stop worrying about the water bill, so I finally turn to D. and say, "Why don't you go ahead and get out and catch another taxi and go to the Water District by yourself becuase we won't be able to make it there before 5:00, okay? D. smiles and says, "Ok." But I waited for her to make a move to get out. Nothing. "So why don't you go ahead and get out here okay?" I said. She smiled and nodded. "So....get out." I said. "Ah no, Po," she replied with a smile. "Uhhh, what?" No response. She just smiled more and acted a bit uncomfortable. You can imagine my bewilderment. Evidently she was adamant about not going alone and at the same time did not want to cross me.
Needless to say, we arrived at the university at 5:00. The water bill was now late and we were left wandering around the campus trying to locate the administration meeting to meet J., only to find out that she had already left. We trekked back out to the main road and stood in the rain for 15-20 minutes. I was texting furiously trying to figure out what to do next and D. was watching for a Taxi. Unfortunately everytime we were able to flag one down they for some reason refused to take us to Gladiola Street. Finally, the third taxi agreed and we were off to another biblestudy where I watched two adorable but rather active Filipino children as their parents tried to have biblestudy over their squeals on the other side of the room. After an hour and a half of trying to occupy the children indoors with two balls and a few plastic Easter eggs (yes, it took quite a bit of creativity) the biblestudy was over and I was able to work up the nerve to ask Amy, the missionary whose house we were in, if I could use her Vonage phone to phone Ken. I woke him up. It had been a chaotic and difficult day for me and Ken, as groggy as he was, was kind enough to patiently remind me that things weren't so bad, and that I can trust the Lord to work out such things as late water bills and miscommunication.
We both were feeling the strain having a rather steady flow of communication completely cut off for a few days, without any promise of it being resumed. Amy reminded me that if I had come twenty years ago the only correspondence I would have with him was snail mail which would have taken twenty days to write and receive a response! I suppose we're spoiled with the internet, but I sure do miss him regardless. Please pray that we both can be faithful to do the work God has called us each to and not be crippled with missing each other. I expect the Lord to strengthen our relationship as a result of our time apart and the growth that we both experience separately. Also, please pray that the Lord directs me clearly in what He wants me to do each day. So far, I feel like so much time is occupied with just trying to live here, let alone do a lot of what feels like productive ministry. I truly desire to see God do an eternal work in my own heart, in the hearts of these girls who are living with me, and those who I minister to.
A few days ago Brett and I shared our testimony with a woman from the village of Kadaklan. I struggled through it as we were sitting on stumps in the middle of a dirt yard with chickens clucking at our feet, dogs fighting, and children running around. It was pure chaos, and I had trouble thinking coherently to say the least, let alone convey those thoughts clearly. However, after we shared, Pastor M. talked with the women who were listening for quite some time in Ilocano. By the end of the conversation one of the women was asking to receive Christ. Please pray that her conversion is authentic and that she will participate in our biblestudy this week in the village.
* I have changed the names I had previous posted to initials after a dear friend suggested that perhaps I should be more discreet. Thanks :)
For example, yesterday, I got up at 6 AM and hopped in a taxi to go along with N. to her 8:00 AM college computer class. Becuase Filipinos are just now starting another school year, the teacher showed up, went over the rules, and then dismissed the class early. N. commented that her teacher seemed nervous over having an Americano in the classroom. I felt a bit out of place, but as usual, the Filipino students were friendly.
After class, D. and I left to go to the Palankay, or the out door market. This is where most of the Filipinos buy their food. It is much cheaper than the supermaket at the mall and has fresh produce from the mountain villages. It's quite the experience as the place is huge, incredibly crowded, and smells less-than-delicious. Two things make the Palankay rather trying for me: the stress of trying to make sure no one pick-pockets me and the pestering I receive from beggars and sellers alike, thinking that I have lots of money to dispense with because I am obviously an Americano. Regardless, I still appreciate the experience and enjoy the challenge of trying to find the food that I and the girls will need for the week. So far I have particularly enjoyed fresh coconut, mangoes, and pineapple, all of which are much tastier than what's available in the U.S.
After we were finished at the Palankay, we took a taxi to pick N. up on her lunch break so the girls could buy some shampoo, soap, "Colgate" etc. We barely got N. back in time for her 12:30 class, the traffic once again being the culprit.
After we dropped N. we went back to the house. After we got back from the market, I decided to be ambitious and try my had at making Adobo, a common dish in the Philippines. I'm realizing that a main ingredient in all Filipino dishes seems to be fat. I had cut up the beef that I had found in the freezer, being careful to trim off the fat and tendons, etc. When N. and D. walked in they kindly stepped in and corrected all the mistakes I was making. They were appalled when I commented that I was going to feed the fat and tendon pieces to the dog. "Oh Po, that's good. We'll use it." So they chopped it up into tiny pieces and fried some rice with it. I opted for the plain rice. I'm coming to understand that in a culture where most people are too poor to buy much meat, fat is the next best thing.
It's been interesting trying to cook in a completely different culture where most ingredients that are familiar to you are not available or are extremely expensive. One of the most obvious foods that is missing is milk. Most Filipinos have grown up on powdered milk. Only in the past few years has liquid milk become available. It is imported from New Zealand and is heat-treated so that it does not require refridgeration until after its opened. You can imagine that it tastes like it too! Along with the absence of milk is most other dairy products that we take for granted in the U.S.
Also, yesterday the water bill for the house was due. Here in the Philippines you cannot simply write out a check and drop it in the mail. No, you have to go in person to the Water District headquarters and stand in line until they personally receive your cash. Before they left, the missionaries had asked the girls if they knew where to take the bill and if they would mind taking care of it while they were gone. The girls kindly agreed, saying that it would be no problem.
So yesterday morning when I reminded D. to pay the bill I find out that she does not know how to get to the Water District and that she will not go without N.. But N. has class from 8-5. D. and N. agree to take it after N. is finished with class. I thought this seemed like a plausible solution until I realized at 4:00 PM that the Water District closes at 5.
Fast-forward to 4:30. D. and I are sitting in a taxi, stuck in traffic. I'm trying to get to Benguet State University in La Trinidad to meet a woman who leads a Bible Study on Tuesday nights. I have no idea where I'm going or if I'll be able to find her when I arrive (she wasn't responding to my texts). I can't stop worrying about the water bill, so I finally turn to D. and say, "Why don't you go ahead and get out and catch another taxi and go to the Water District by yourself becuase we won't be able to make it there before 5:00, okay? D. smiles and says, "Ok." But I waited for her to make a move to get out. Nothing. "So why don't you go ahead and get out here okay?" I said. She smiled and nodded. "So....get out." I said. "Ah no, Po," she replied with a smile. "Uhhh, what?" No response. She just smiled more and acted a bit uncomfortable. You can imagine my bewilderment. Evidently she was adamant about not going alone and at the same time did not want to cross me.
Needless to say, we arrived at the university at 5:00. The water bill was now late and we were left wandering around the campus trying to locate the administration meeting to meet J., only to find out that she had already left. We trekked back out to the main road and stood in the rain for 15-20 minutes. I was texting furiously trying to figure out what to do next and D. was watching for a Taxi. Unfortunately everytime we were able to flag one down they for some reason refused to take us to Gladiola Street. Finally, the third taxi agreed and we were off to another biblestudy where I watched two adorable but rather active Filipino children as their parents tried to have biblestudy over their squeals on the other side of the room. After an hour and a half of trying to occupy the children indoors with two balls and a few plastic Easter eggs (yes, it took quite a bit of creativity) the biblestudy was over and I was able to work up the nerve to ask Amy, the missionary whose house we were in, if I could use her Vonage phone to phone Ken. I woke him up. It had been a chaotic and difficult day for me and Ken, as groggy as he was, was kind enough to patiently remind me that things weren't so bad, and that I can trust the Lord to work out such things as late water bills and miscommunication.
We both were feeling the strain having a rather steady flow of communication completely cut off for a few days, without any promise of it being resumed. Amy reminded me that if I had come twenty years ago the only correspondence I would have with him was snail mail which would have taken twenty days to write and receive a response! I suppose we're spoiled with the internet, but I sure do miss him regardless. Please pray that we both can be faithful to do the work God has called us each to and not be crippled with missing each other. I expect the Lord to strengthen our relationship as a result of our time apart and the growth that we both experience separately. Also, please pray that the Lord directs me clearly in what He wants me to do each day. So far, I feel like so much time is occupied with just trying to live here, let alone do a lot of what feels like productive ministry. I truly desire to see God do an eternal work in my own heart, in the hearts of these girls who are living with me, and those who I minister to.
A few days ago Brett and I shared our testimony with a woman from the village of Kadaklan. I struggled through it as we were sitting on stumps in the middle of a dirt yard with chickens clucking at our feet, dogs fighting, and children running around. It was pure chaos, and I had trouble thinking coherently to say the least, let alone convey those thoughts clearly. However, after we shared, Pastor M. talked with the women who were listening for quite some time in Ilocano. By the end of the conversation one of the women was asking to receive Christ. Please pray that her conversion is authentic and that she will participate in our biblestudy this week in the village.
* I have changed the names I had previous posted to initials after a dear friend suggested that perhaps I should be more discreet. Thanks :)
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Beautiful Baguio
Tuesday, Brett (another short-termer) and I boarded a Deluxe bus headed for Baguio city, Philippines. For the next 4 1/2 hours I sat mesmerized, squinting my eyes against the too-bright sun. I was so tired but every time I managed to pull my eyes away from the window and close them for a moment, I couldn't resist popping them back open, kind of like a jack-in-the-box from my childhood that would pop out whenever I tried to secure it under its lid. I watched as we drove by rice fields being plowed by water buffalo, through small villages where the haphazard shacks of a house met the two-lane road. I, as a rider, could peak inside to see a Filipina taking a siesta in a hammock. Another appeared to be checking her sister's hair for lice. Little boys were playing basketball on the hard-packed mud floor of a nearby lot, and when one glimpsed a white woman through the window of the bus, he got a huge grin on his face and motioned to his friends.
I am beginning to realize that I am experiencing what it is like to be a celebrity for the first and last time of my life. Filipinos love the West and they love Americans. They believe that the epitomy of beauty is having white skin. I had to laugh when I went to the cosmetic aisle of the department store and witnessed row and row of skin-whitening soap and lotion. Quite the opposite of our Neutrogena "Natural Glow" skin bronzers! This desire to be white is also what drives Filipinas to bring along an umbrella whenever they head out of doors.
Filipinos also love Americans becuase they think that we are rich. When I went to the open-air market today I was constantly reminded of this as the vendors specifically targeted me. "Shoes, ma'am?" "Vegetables, ma'am?" Then there were old beggar women who would shuffle up to me and tug on my arm asking for pesos. Sometimes they were rather insistent and would follow me for a while. The problem is that often these women are part of a syndicate. The money that they earn does not even go to them but to those who have hired them.
I have never been around so much need. The people here are so very poor and it is heartbreaking to try and decide who to give money to and who to refuse. Amy took us to governmental hospital here in Baguio to see thirteen- year-old Jose who has cancer. He and his mother and younger sister were waiting to find out if he would be allowed to receive his next chemo treatment. His family is very poor and they do not have the money for the treatments. During one of the first treatments, a nurse pulled out Jose's IV and dripped chemo fluid onto his arm. It burned his so badly they thought they would have to operate. Becuase the doctor was afraid of a potential lawsuit, she agreed to let Jose receive the treatment on debt. After several treatments his family is in more debt than they may ever be able to pay off and they are just waiting to be refused more treatments.
So there we were sitting outside on plastic chairs in the hallway waiting for the doctor's response regarding this next treatment. After waiting an inordinate amount of time during which the doctor appeared to simply be taking a break, Jose's mother was called into the makeshift office and was told that Jose would not be receiving any more chemo treatments unless they could pay for them. Jose's mother came back into the hallway. She related the news to Amy in Tagolog but I could tell from her facial expression what the response had been. Amy asked if they would agree to give the treatment if she had 1000 pesos ( a little over $50). The doctor agreed! Brett, Amy, and I pooled together our pesos and ended up with 2000 pesos to give her. She was embarassed and so happy at the same time. The walk back from the hospital to Amy's house was silent as we all tried to take in what we had just experienced. I wish I could give more! I think I'm going to try and give any leftover money to his family at the end of my trip.
I am beginning to realize that I am experiencing what it is like to be a celebrity for the first and last time of my life. Filipinos love the West and they love Americans. They believe that the epitomy of beauty is having white skin. I had to laugh when I went to the cosmetic aisle of the department store and witnessed row and row of skin-whitening soap and lotion. Quite the opposite of our Neutrogena "Natural Glow" skin bronzers! This desire to be white is also what drives Filipinas to bring along an umbrella whenever they head out of doors.
Filipinos also love Americans becuase they think that we are rich. When I went to the open-air market today I was constantly reminded of this as the vendors specifically targeted me. "Shoes, ma'am?" "Vegetables, ma'am?" Then there were old beggar women who would shuffle up to me and tug on my arm asking for pesos. Sometimes they were rather insistent and would follow me for a while. The problem is that often these women are part of a syndicate. The money that they earn does not even go to them but to those who have hired them.
I have never been around so much need. The people here are so very poor and it is heartbreaking to try and decide who to give money to and who to refuse. Amy took us to governmental hospital here in Baguio to see thirteen- year-old Jose who has cancer. He and his mother and younger sister were waiting to find out if he would be allowed to receive his next chemo treatment. His family is very poor and they do not have the money for the treatments. During one of the first treatments, a nurse pulled out Jose's IV and dripped chemo fluid onto his arm. It burned his so badly they thought they would have to operate. Becuase the doctor was afraid of a potential lawsuit, she agreed to let Jose receive the treatment on debt. After several treatments his family is in more debt than they may ever be able to pay off and they are just waiting to be refused more treatments.
So there we were sitting outside on plastic chairs in the hallway waiting for the doctor's response regarding this next treatment. After waiting an inordinate amount of time during which the doctor appeared to simply be taking a break, Jose's mother was called into the makeshift office and was told that Jose would not be receiving any more chemo treatments unless they could pay for them. Jose's mother came back into the hallway. She related the news to Amy in Tagolog but I could tell from her facial expression what the response had been. Amy asked if they would agree to give the treatment if she had 1000 pesos ( a little over $50). The doctor agreed! Brett, Amy, and I pooled together our pesos and ended up with 2000 pesos to give her. She was embarassed and so happy at the same time. The walk back from the hospital to Amy's house was silent as we all tried to take in what we had just experienced. I wish I could give more! I think I'm going to try and give any leftover money to his family at the end of my trip.
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