Half Way Through

First, of all, I wanted to thank all of you who have commented on my blog. It's so encouraging to realize that people are reading and praying and spurring me on. I wish I had the time to personally respond to each comment but as it is, I'm having trouble finding enough time at a computer to simply add a new post. Please don't let this discourage you from commenting!


I have officially passed the half-way mark of my time here. It feels like I've just only begun to adjust and now they are already talking about our despidida (going away party)! This week I tried out a few Tagolog (Ta.ga.log) phrases while in public and it was rather fun. The girls who stay with me have been patiently teaching me a few words/phrases here and there. Perhaps the funnest part of speaking Tagolog is they way it brings a shy smile and a suprised twinkle into the eyes of the Filipinos when they hear it coming from an Americano.

This week we returned to the fifth grade class at Crystal Cave Public School. This time I explained that if the kids have genuinely committed their lives to Christ, He has given them a new heart with the capability of loving Him. However, it is difficult to love God when you don't know him. I illustrated this by asking the class artist to come up to the board and instructing him to draw my favorite animal. He stuck his little tongue out and with meticulous motions scratched out with a meager piece of chalk a rather realistic drawing of a tropical bird. Haha. The kids were a bit suprised to hear that I actually have a great phobia of birds! I explained that it was difficult for the boy to obey my command because he did not know me, and he for sure didn't know my favorite animal.

The second illustration involved a rather cherished letter I received from Ken. I took it in and let one of the girls in the front row read Ken's name out loud. I explained that he is my fiance back in the States and that he had sent me the letter. I asked them how they think that I got to know him. Eventually we decided that I got to know him through spending time with him, talking, and doing things together. I explained that the same is true of God.

But how do we spend time with God. Can we invite him to visit the classroom. Can we ask him to give a presentation about Himself? Can we sit down over some ulam and rice and ask Him about Himself? No. I asked them what would be the best way for them to get to know Koby Bryant better. Because he's not here in the Philippines, the best way for them to get to know him better would be to check out a book about him from the library and read it (I only realized later that they don't have access to a library and were a bit confused about what I meant!). The same is true of God. We have His autobiography, the Bible. It's how God talks to us. And we can talk back to God through prayer. I ended the lesson by giving them an assignment. I showed them where the book of John is in the Bible and told them that I would like them to read one chapter a day and write out on a piece of paper what they learned about God. I also told them after writing, I wanted them to talk to God and tell Him if they had a bad day, if they have trouble at home, if something exciting happens in their life. I explained that He cares and wants to hear from them.

I hope that some of them went ahead and did the assignment. I know not all of the had Bibles and we will be bringing some with us this week.

Last week I also had the opportunity of leading the Bible study held at Benguet State University among some women who work in the administrative department. I felt convicted by the Lord to speak on godly confrontation.

Confrontation is often greatly feared here in the Philippines. No one wants to "rock the boat." As a result, I am running into quite a bit of gossip behind others' backs and hidden resentment. I have had the opportunity to talk two women in particular about the need for honesty regarding past hurts inflicted by a church member here. I sense that their continued silence has not only caused their hearts to grow bitter but has also withheld much-needed accountability for the church member. I believe his ministry is being damaged because of it. Please pray that God will really work to bring about loving and respectful honesty among the Filipinos at Cordillera Bible Christian Fellowship. I am especially concerned because the team leaders Mike and Carolyn Ballast who are highly respected and have set an impeccable example in this regard will be retiring in a few years and it is most likely that a Filipino will step in to replace them. I know that God can redeem this aspect of Filipino culture as He is working to redeem much of American culture in my own life. Please pray that He does so.

The women seemed to be challenged by the lesson I prepared on confrontation, and during prayer time, several raised some situations that they were sensing they needed to be honest in. I was so encouraged by their vulnerability and tender consciences. What a privilege to be a part of the Holy Spirit's work in their lives.

I also was invited to speak at the youth group meeting this past Friday. I spoke again on confrontation but focused more the on the difference between judgment and godly accountability. I used Gal. 5:1-5 as the text and explained that judgment alienates the sinner while accountability takes the hand of the sinner and "bears his or her sin burden." I have seen this take place at Moody several times, specifically in regards to Ken's floor and the accountability group that meets for two hours on Sunday nights. I have been so blessed by the way godly men on Dryer 2 have come alongside each other and have sacrificed through fasting and long hours in prayer in order to help each other live righteous lives. I have also seen this in one of my previous roommates as she would often spend hours in the middle of the night on the phone in prayer with a friend back home who had recently been saved and was struggling immensely with ghosts from her past. How the church would be different if when we saw another in sin we came alongside of him/her and were willing to sacrifice our food, sleep, time, or convenience in order to see that brother or sister be restored! Perhaps then the world would not see Christians as primarily judgmental. As I shared these examples with the youth I was so struck with personal conviction and just the realization of how greatly such sacrifice among members of Christ's body honors Him that I cried! Although I felt a bit embarrassed, I think the Lord used the message to penetrate some of the youths' hearts. A few came up to me afterward and thanked me for the message. Please pray that the Lord would convict them so that not only their emotions are moved but their lives as well.

Finally, this past week I led the high school/college age girls' bible study for the second time. I really struggle with the message preparation. We were studying Luke 4: Jesus's temptation by Satan. I was having a hard time knowing how to interpret some of the verses and I struggle with not having access to commentaries etc. I also was struggling with a fresh take on the passage.

During Sunday morning, Dan Ballast gave a message that was just saturated by his own conviction and passion. He raised the question why we are still so spiritually thirsty when Christ says that if we drink His living water, we will never thirst again. He explained that it is because we are not living by the Spirit. CBCF uses Evangelism Explosion to train new believers on how to share their faith. This curriculum is fitting for this culture in that it is a concise way to train new believers who may not even understand the gospel all that well themselves, to share it with others. It uses some very powerful illustrations that seem to help the gospel make sense to Filipinos when even the most well-reasoned explanations fall short. However, the church leadership here admits that it has its faults. One of those is that it focuses so much on eternal life after we die in Heaven and fails to explain that eternal life begins at salvation. Eternal life is knowing God (John 17) and living life by His Spirit. Dan challenged the congregation to not be so focused on Heaven that they fail to see God's desire for them to experience His spiritual life here on earth. He exhorted us to be making time to sit in silence before the Lord and give Him opportunity to speak to us through His Word. He also challenged us to practice spiritual disciplines such as fasting.

I was personally cut to the heart because I am realizing so poignantly that the degree to which God uses my teaching in others' lives directly correlates to the degree to which He uses it in my own. If my lessons pour from my own time with the Lord and the conviction that comes by His Spirit, they will carry a power that even the most eloquent preachers and teachers do not know. If I long to see God work in His people I must first and foremost long to see God work in my life. It's ironic how tend to get so caught up in ministry that we forget just how badly we ourselves need to be ministered to.

Please pray that I would learn to walk by the Spirit. Please pray that this trip would be a spring board of God developing a spirit-led life in me. I long for my prayers to be Spirit-directed and for my heart to be Spirit-convicted, for the Word to be living and active in my life, and for my teaching to overflow from this activity. I know that if God does this in my life it may mean sacrificing sleep or food or life as I know it now to do as His Spirit directs. That can be scary at first but I know that I look at it now through the lens of my own strength. If the Holy Spirit is directing me, He will also supply the strength.

Dan's message about living by the Spirit seemed to offer the missing puzzle piece to my lesson on Luke 4:1-13. Looking back on the text I realized that Jesus was so triumphant because He was "full of the Spirit" and "led by the Spirit." I challenged the girls to fast with me for a day this week and set apart extended time with the Lord. Yesterday I went ahead a did so (though it was such a struggle for me!). I was so encouraged today when I woke up and one of the girls who is staying with me who also attends the Bible study told me that she was fasting today. I had prayed that the girls would be personally convicted and would take the initiative to cultivate the Spirit's work in their lives. What a blessing to see D. doing so! Pray that she would be blessed through her time with the Lord and that the other girls would choose to seek God's presence on an ongoing basis as well.

Thanks so much for your prayers. I am moved when I realize that much of what God is doing here is a direct result of His Saints and their intercession.