This past week I experienced my first bout of sickness since arriving here in the Philippines. Thankfully, it was only a virus resulting in a horrendous sore throat, fever, chills, and now congestion and a cough that rivals any lifelong smoker's. Just as I was feeling well enough to get out of bed, the rains resulting from a nearby typhoon began. I have never seen or heard it rain for three nights and days without interruption. With all the rain, we experienced two brownouts for 2-4 hours. On the third day of rain I couldn't stand being cooped up in the house for any longer so I ventured out to the Palengke (yes, the girls brought it to my attention that I was previously misspelling it as Palankay) to buy a few souvenirs. Even with my rain jacket and umbrella, I got so wet that even my underclothes were damp! Needless to say, I don't think the experience contributed to a speedy recovery.
Because of the rain and sickness almost all of my usual activities were cancelled. However, I was able to make it to Crystal Cave Public School on Thursday. This week we further discussed creation and what it means to be made in God's image. I took in a large mirror and explained that an image is a reflection. We were created to reflect God to all of creation. Just as God filled and subdued the earth, Adam and Ever were instructed to do the same. How ironic that the snake - the very creature that they were to subdue - ended up dictating to them what to do! As we read through Gen. 3 together, using the pictures I had drawn the night before, I explained how sin and death entered the world and how we came to have corrupt hearts that do not love God. I closed by calling their attention to Gen. 3:15, "the prolegamena." I had written the verse out on a poster and went through and explained that this verse is perhaps the most important verse in all of Genesis becuase it points the way to Jesus and His future victory over the sin and death that had just entered the world. I explained that becuase He came, all that had gone wrong in Eden has begun to be made right. And all that is wrong in our hearts may be made right as well. At times I felt like perhaps the kids were in over their heads but Pastor Max reassured me that it was apparent that they understood when he reviewed with them in their native dialect afterward. I also collected their observations from the next seven chapters of John. By next week they will have read through the whole book which is exciting to me. I know that the Word of God is living and active and that it accomplishes the purpose for which God sends it. I trust that this will be true in these fifth graders' lives.
Tonight I am hosting a girls' sleepover for all the high school/college age girls who attend CBCF. We're expecting about 10 total so it will be quite a houseful. The girls requested lasagne for dinner so yesterday I walked to the supermarket and came back with four bags of groceries including 4 - 1.5 L bottles of rootbeer and 3 L ice cream for rootbeer floats. Unfortunately, the walk back is straight uphill. Needless to say, I had to stop several times just to catch my breath, and I had to wave off several bewildered taxi drivers who couldn't understand why an Americano would be lugging all those groceries uphill instead of paying for a taxi ride! The probem was that I had no idea how expensive the ingredients for lasagne woudl be here in the Philippines when I agreed to have it for dinner. The cost of the cheese alone was about a fourth of my weekly food allowance for the girls and I! Now I understand why they requested it! Regardless, it will be fun to offer the girls something special tonight.
I also am hoping to have a "girl talk" tonight where we can discuss some of the current issues the girls are facing and may not feel comfortable voicing with older women. I am particularly concerned with their views on dating. It seem almost like a game here. One girl told me that she started dating her boyfriend becuase he had hurt her friend and she wanted to get back at him! Dating two people at the same time without either knowing about the other is also common. Please pray that God will teach them how to approach relationships in a way that honors Him and will help them develop healthy habits that can follow them into marriage.
Part of the problem may be that so few families remain intact here. Both of the girls who are staying with me have parents that have separated and have new "partners." D's dad even has a second family. When I asked her if she struggles with anger toward him she replied matter of factly, "God's forgiven me so I have to forgive him." I was challenged by her answer.
Perhaps part of what contributes to the disintegration of families here is that often one of the spouses goes abroad for years at a time to earn dollars or Euros to send back home for their children's college education (the exchange rate is currently 45 pesos per dollar and nearly 68 pesos per Euro). The girls told me that to even get a janitorial position here, the individual must have a bachelor's degree. The problem is that there are just not enough good jobs to go around and the competition is incredibly steep. It was sobering to realize that most of the college aged individuals in the church have chosen degrees based on what is most marketable rather than what is most desirable for their unique personality and gifting. Because there are many educated Filipinos and not enough jobs to go around, many apply for overseas jobs. It seems that at least 50% of the church families have this kind of arrangement where one of the spouses is working abroad. This puts a whole new spin on long distance relationships and I am witnessing firsthand the strain that kind of distance involves.
I'm coming up on my last week here in Baguio. Please pray that I finish strong. Pray that I might continue to make the good news of salvation clear to the kids at Crystal Cave and that they will respond with God-given and God-sustained faith. Pray that the message I present to the women at Benguet State University on the Canaanite woman of Mathew 15 will challenge them and encourage them to have great faith in God's goodness and concern for their lives. Pray that they will be relentless in their prayers and pursuit of Him. Pray that they, as well as the church members here at CBCF, will persevere in the midst of their trials, because they have many.
Pray that I will not come back the same Audrey. Pray that God will have His way in my life and that I might step back onto U.S. soil with a heart that more closely reflects His Son. Pray that I might learn everyday to walk more by His Spirit and less by my flesh. Pray that God provides direction for Ken and I as we face our last year at Moody. We desire to serve wherever He wants to use us so pray that He will lead us by His Spirit, to do His will.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Half Way Through
First, of all, I wanted to thank all of you who have commented on my blog. It's so encouraging to realize that people are reading and praying and spurring me on. I wish I had the time to personally respond to each comment but as it is, I'm having trouble finding enough time at a computer to simply add a new post. Please don't let this discourage you from commenting!
I have officially passed the half-way mark of my time here. It feels like I've just only begun to adjust and now they are already talking about our despidida (going away party)! This week I tried out a few Tagolog (Ta.ga.log) phrases while in public and it was rather fun. The girls who stay with me have been patiently teaching me a few words/phrases here and there. Perhaps the funnest part of speaking Tagolog is they way it brings a shy smile and a suprised twinkle into the eyes of the Filipinos when they hear it coming from an Americano.
This week we returned to the fifth grade class at Crystal Cave Public School. This time I explained that if the kids have genuinely committed their lives to Christ, He has given them a new heart with the capability of loving Him. However, it is difficult to love God when you don't know him. I illustrated this by asking the class artist to come up to the board and instructing him to draw my favorite animal. He stuck his little tongue out and with meticulous motions scratched out with a meager piece of chalk a rather realistic drawing of a tropical bird. Haha. The kids were a bit suprised to hear that I actually have a great phobia of birds! I explained that it was difficult for the boy to obey my command because he did not know me, and he for sure didn't know my favorite animal.
The second illustration involved a rather cherished letter I received from Ken. I took it in and let one of the girls in the front row read Ken's name out loud. I explained that he is my fiance back in the States and that he had sent me the letter. I asked them how they think that I got to know him. Eventually we decided that I got to know him through spending time with him, talking, and doing things together. I explained that the same is true of God.
But how do we spend time with God. Can we invite him to visit the classroom. Can we ask him to give a presentation about Himself? Can we sit down over some ulam and rice and ask Him about Himself? No. I asked them what would be the best way for them to get to know Koby Bryant better. Because he's not here in the Philippines, the best way for them to get to know him better would be to check out a book about him from the library and read it (I only realized later that they don't have access to a library and were a bit confused about what I meant!). The same is true of God. We have His autobiography, the Bible. It's how God talks to us. And we can talk back to God through prayer. I ended the lesson by giving them an assignment. I showed them where the book of John is in the Bible and told them that I would like them to read one chapter a day and write out on a piece of paper what they learned about God. I also told them after writing, I wanted them to talk to God and tell Him if they had a bad day, if they have trouble at home, if something exciting happens in their life. I explained that He cares and wants to hear from them.
I hope that some of them went ahead and did the assignment. I know not all of the had Bibles and we will be bringing some with us this week.
Last week I also had the opportunity of leading the Bible study held at Benguet State University among some women who work in the administrative department. I felt convicted by the Lord to speak on godly confrontation.
Confrontation is often greatly feared here in the Philippines. No one wants to "rock the boat." As a result, I am running into quite a bit of gossip behind others' backs and hidden resentment. I have had the opportunity to talk two women in particular about the need for honesty regarding past hurts inflicted by a church member here. I sense that their continued silence has not only caused their hearts to grow bitter but has also withheld much-needed accountability for the church member. I believe his ministry is being damaged because of it. Please pray that God will really work to bring about loving and respectful honesty among the Filipinos at Cordillera Bible Christian Fellowship. I am especially concerned because the team leaders Mike and Carolyn Ballast who are highly respected and have set an impeccable example in this regard will be retiring in a few years and it is most likely that a Filipino will step in to replace them. I know that God can redeem this aspect of Filipino culture as He is working to redeem much of American culture in my own life. Please pray that He does so.
The women seemed to be challenged by the lesson I prepared on confrontation, and during prayer time, several raised some situations that they were sensing they needed to be honest in. I was so encouraged by their vulnerability and tender consciences. What a privilege to be a part of the Holy Spirit's work in their lives.
I also was invited to speak at the youth group meeting this past Friday. I spoke again on confrontation but focused more the on the difference between judgment and godly accountability. I used Gal. 5:1-5 as the text and explained that judgment alienates the sinner while accountability takes the hand of the sinner and "bears his or her sin burden." I have seen this take place at Moody several times, specifically in regards to Ken's floor and the accountability group that meets for two hours on Sunday nights. I have been so blessed by the way godly men on Dryer 2 have come alongside each other and have sacrificed through fasting and long hours in prayer in order to help each other live righteous lives. I have also seen this in one of my previous roommates as she would often spend hours in the middle of the night on the phone in prayer with a friend back home who had recently been saved and was struggling immensely with ghosts from her past. How the church would be different if when we saw another in sin we came alongside of him/her and were willing to sacrifice our food, sleep, time, or convenience in order to see that brother or sister be restored! Perhaps then the world would not see Christians as primarily judgmental. As I shared these examples with the youth I was so struck with personal conviction and just the realization of how greatly such sacrifice among members of Christ's body honors Him that I cried! Although I felt a bit embarrassed, I think the Lord used the message to penetrate some of the youths' hearts. A few came up to me afterward and thanked me for the message. Please pray that the Lord would convict them so that not only their emotions are moved but their lives as well.
Finally, this past week I led the high school/college age girls' bible study for the second time. I really struggle with the message preparation. We were studying Luke 4: Jesus's temptation by Satan. I was having a hard time knowing how to interpret some of the verses and I struggle with not having access to commentaries etc. I also was struggling with a fresh take on the passage.
During Sunday morning, Dan Ballast gave a message that was just saturated by his own conviction and passion. He raised the question why we are still so spiritually thirsty when Christ says that if we drink His living water, we will never thirst again. He explained that it is because we are not living by the Spirit. CBCF uses Evangelism Explosion to train new believers on how to share their faith. This curriculum is fitting for this culture in that it is a concise way to train new believers who may not even understand the gospel all that well themselves, to share it with others. It uses some very powerful illustrations that seem to help the gospel make sense to Filipinos when even the most well-reasoned explanations fall short. However, the church leadership here admits that it has its faults. One of those is that it focuses so much on eternal life after we die in Heaven and fails to explain that eternal life begins at salvation. Eternal life is knowing God (John 17) and living life by His Spirit. Dan challenged the congregation to not be so focused on Heaven that they fail to see God's desire for them to experience His spiritual life here on earth. He exhorted us to be making time to sit in silence before the Lord and give Him opportunity to speak to us through His Word. He also challenged us to practice spiritual disciplines such as fasting.
I was personally cut to the heart because I am realizing so poignantly that the degree to which God uses my teaching in others' lives directly correlates to the degree to which He uses it in my own. If my lessons pour from my own time with the Lord and the conviction that comes by His Spirit, they will carry a power that even the most eloquent preachers and teachers do not know. If I long to see God work in His people I must first and foremost long to see God work in my life. It's ironic how tend to get so caught up in ministry that we forget just how badly we ourselves need to be ministered to.
Please pray that I would learn to walk by the Spirit. Please pray that this trip would be a spring board of God developing a spirit-led life in me. I long for my prayers to be Spirit-directed and for my heart to be Spirit-convicted, for the Word to be living and active in my life, and for my teaching to overflow from this activity. I know that if God does this in my life it may mean sacrificing sleep or food or life as I know it now to do as His Spirit directs. That can be scary at first but I know that I look at it now through the lens of my own strength. If the Holy Spirit is directing me, He will also supply the strength.
Dan's message about living by the Spirit seemed to offer the missing puzzle piece to my lesson on Luke 4:1-13. Looking back on the text I realized that Jesus was so triumphant because He was "full of the Spirit" and "led by the Spirit." I challenged the girls to fast with me for a day this week and set apart extended time with the Lord. Yesterday I went ahead a did so (though it was such a struggle for me!). I was so encouraged today when I woke up and one of the girls who is staying with me who also attends the Bible study told me that she was fasting today. I had prayed that the girls would be personally convicted and would take the initiative to cultivate the Spirit's work in their lives. What a blessing to see D. doing so! Pray that she would be blessed through her time with the Lord and that the other girls would choose to seek God's presence on an ongoing basis as well.
Thanks so much for your prayers. I am moved when I realize that much of what God is doing here is a direct result of His Saints and their intercession.
I have officially passed the half-way mark of my time here. It feels like I've just only begun to adjust and now they are already talking about our despidida (going away party)! This week I tried out a few Tagolog (Ta.ga.log) phrases while in public and it was rather fun. The girls who stay with me have been patiently teaching me a few words/phrases here and there. Perhaps the funnest part of speaking Tagolog is they way it brings a shy smile and a suprised twinkle into the eyes of the Filipinos when they hear it coming from an Americano.
This week we returned to the fifth grade class at Crystal Cave Public School. This time I explained that if the kids have genuinely committed their lives to Christ, He has given them a new heart with the capability of loving Him. However, it is difficult to love God when you don't know him. I illustrated this by asking the class artist to come up to the board and instructing him to draw my favorite animal. He stuck his little tongue out and with meticulous motions scratched out with a meager piece of chalk a rather realistic drawing of a tropical bird. Haha. The kids were a bit suprised to hear that I actually have a great phobia of birds! I explained that it was difficult for the boy to obey my command because he did not know me, and he for sure didn't know my favorite animal.
The second illustration involved a rather cherished letter I received from Ken. I took it in and let one of the girls in the front row read Ken's name out loud. I explained that he is my fiance back in the States and that he had sent me the letter. I asked them how they think that I got to know him. Eventually we decided that I got to know him through spending time with him, talking, and doing things together. I explained that the same is true of God.
But how do we spend time with God. Can we invite him to visit the classroom. Can we ask him to give a presentation about Himself? Can we sit down over some ulam and rice and ask Him about Himself? No. I asked them what would be the best way for them to get to know Koby Bryant better. Because he's not here in the Philippines, the best way for them to get to know him better would be to check out a book about him from the library and read it (I only realized later that they don't have access to a library and were a bit confused about what I meant!). The same is true of God. We have His autobiography, the Bible. It's how God talks to us. And we can talk back to God through prayer. I ended the lesson by giving them an assignment. I showed them where the book of John is in the Bible and told them that I would like them to read one chapter a day and write out on a piece of paper what they learned about God. I also told them after writing, I wanted them to talk to God and tell Him if they had a bad day, if they have trouble at home, if something exciting happens in their life. I explained that He cares and wants to hear from them.
I hope that some of them went ahead and did the assignment. I know not all of the had Bibles and we will be bringing some with us this week.
Last week I also had the opportunity of leading the Bible study held at Benguet State University among some women who work in the administrative department. I felt convicted by the Lord to speak on godly confrontation.
Confrontation is often greatly feared here in the Philippines. No one wants to "rock the boat." As a result, I am running into quite a bit of gossip behind others' backs and hidden resentment. I have had the opportunity to talk two women in particular about the need for honesty regarding past hurts inflicted by a church member here. I sense that their continued silence has not only caused their hearts to grow bitter but has also withheld much-needed accountability for the church member. I believe his ministry is being damaged because of it. Please pray that God will really work to bring about loving and respectful honesty among the Filipinos at Cordillera Bible Christian Fellowship. I am especially concerned because the team leaders Mike and Carolyn Ballast who are highly respected and have set an impeccable example in this regard will be retiring in a few years and it is most likely that a Filipino will step in to replace them. I know that God can redeem this aspect of Filipino culture as He is working to redeem much of American culture in my own life. Please pray that He does so.
The women seemed to be challenged by the lesson I prepared on confrontation, and during prayer time, several raised some situations that they were sensing they needed to be honest in. I was so encouraged by their vulnerability and tender consciences. What a privilege to be a part of the Holy Spirit's work in their lives.
I also was invited to speak at the youth group meeting this past Friday. I spoke again on confrontation but focused more the on the difference between judgment and godly accountability. I used Gal. 5:1-5 as the text and explained that judgment alienates the sinner while accountability takes the hand of the sinner and "bears his or her sin burden." I have seen this take place at Moody several times, specifically in regards to Ken's floor and the accountability group that meets for two hours on Sunday nights. I have been so blessed by the way godly men on Dryer 2 have come alongside each other and have sacrificed through fasting and long hours in prayer in order to help each other live righteous lives. I have also seen this in one of my previous roommates as she would often spend hours in the middle of the night on the phone in prayer with a friend back home who had recently been saved and was struggling immensely with ghosts from her past. How the church would be different if when we saw another in sin we came alongside of him/her and were willing to sacrifice our food, sleep, time, or convenience in order to see that brother or sister be restored! Perhaps then the world would not see Christians as primarily judgmental. As I shared these examples with the youth I was so struck with personal conviction and just the realization of how greatly such sacrifice among members of Christ's body honors Him that I cried! Although I felt a bit embarrassed, I think the Lord used the message to penetrate some of the youths' hearts. A few came up to me afterward and thanked me for the message. Please pray that the Lord would convict them so that not only their emotions are moved but their lives as well.
Finally, this past week I led the high school/college age girls' bible study for the second time. I really struggle with the message preparation. We were studying Luke 4: Jesus's temptation by Satan. I was having a hard time knowing how to interpret some of the verses and I struggle with not having access to commentaries etc. I also was struggling with a fresh take on the passage.
During Sunday morning, Dan Ballast gave a message that was just saturated by his own conviction and passion. He raised the question why we are still so spiritually thirsty when Christ says that if we drink His living water, we will never thirst again. He explained that it is because we are not living by the Spirit. CBCF uses Evangelism Explosion to train new believers on how to share their faith. This curriculum is fitting for this culture in that it is a concise way to train new believers who may not even understand the gospel all that well themselves, to share it with others. It uses some very powerful illustrations that seem to help the gospel make sense to Filipinos when even the most well-reasoned explanations fall short. However, the church leadership here admits that it has its faults. One of those is that it focuses so much on eternal life after we die in Heaven and fails to explain that eternal life begins at salvation. Eternal life is knowing God (John 17) and living life by His Spirit. Dan challenged the congregation to not be so focused on Heaven that they fail to see God's desire for them to experience His spiritual life here on earth. He exhorted us to be making time to sit in silence before the Lord and give Him opportunity to speak to us through His Word. He also challenged us to practice spiritual disciplines such as fasting.
I was personally cut to the heart because I am realizing so poignantly that the degree to which God uses my teaching in others' lives directly correlates to the degree to which He uses it in my own. If my lessons pour from my own time with the Lord and the conviction that comes by His Spirit, they will carry a power that even the most eloquent preachers and teachers do not know. If I long to see God work in His people I must first and foremost long to see God work in my life. It's ironic how tend to get so caught up in ministry that we forget just how badly we ourselves need to be ministered to.
Please pray that I would learn to walk by the Spirit. Please pray that this trip would be a spring board of God developing a spirit-led life in me. I long for my prayers to be Spirit-directed and for my heart to be Spirit-convicted, for the Word to be living and active in my life, and for my teaching to overflow from this activity. I know that if God does this in my life it may mean sacrificing sleep or food or life as I know it now to do as His Spirit directs. That can be scary at first but I know that I look at it now through the lens of my own strength. If the Holy Spirit is directing me, He will also supply the strength.
Dan's message about living by the Spirit seemed to offer the missing puzzle piece to my lesson on Luke 4:1-13. Looking back on the text I realized that Jesus was so triumphant because He was "full of the Spirit" and "led by the Spirit." I challenged the girls to fast with me for a day this week and set apart extended time with the Lord. Yesterday I went ahead a did so (though it was such a struggle for me!). I was so encouraged today when I woke up and one of the girls who is staying with me who also attends the Bible study told me that she was fasting today. I had prayed that the girls would be personally convicted and would take the initiative to cultivate the Spirit's work in their lives. What a blessing to see D. doing so! Pray that she would be blessed through her time with the Lord and that the other girls would choose to seek God's presence on an ongoing basis as well.
Thanks so much for your prayers. I am moved when I realize that much of what God is doing here is a direct result of His Saints and their intercession.
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